As Mother’s Day approaches, my thoughts go back to my mom. She passed away when I was 25, and there was so, so much that she missed. I wish she could have been here to share in all that I am proud of. She only knew my son until he was five so never got to see the ornery all-boy rough-and-tumble kid growing up, the motorcycle racer who eventually raced the Grand National dirt track circuit, one of the best motorcycle racing motor builders in the country, and eventually the multi-talented entrepreneur managing apartment rentals, planning and implementing construction and design projects, owning and running pizzerias, and fathering five sons. Mom never got to meet her bright, handsome, wonderful great grandsons and her superhero great great grandson. And, sadly, they never got to know her. My mom always supported me, the shy kid, and prodded me to get my education, have friends, and create; yet she never got to be involved in my adult life of theatre, racing, writing, social work, and more.
She worked hard as a single mom (my dad passed away when I was a little over a year old) to ensure my needs were met. She had a unique sense of humor that I keep tucked away in my heart. She was renowned for her indecisiveness over major purchases (e.g. had me take piano lessons from 4th through 6th grade but couldn’t make up her mind on which piano to buy until I was 14). My mom loved fashion and glamour. She taught me to love the color blue (almost exclusively, actually, until I finally figured out there was a rainbow out there). She taught me basic morals and values – don’t lie, cheat, steal, etc. – to the point that I was pretty much a goody-two-shoes back in the day. She taught me to be kind to people. She respected me, and I in turn respected her….at least insofar as obeying rules. Being an only child, I was also a spoiled brat and believed that tantrums were the way to go. They always worked with my mom. With others, not so much. I learned that quickly!
My mom had some wonderful recipes! I wish I had kept up some of those traditions better over the years. She would bake fruitcake bars (NOT to be confused with yucky fruitcake) at Christmas time along with gingerbread cookies, rum and bourbon balls (I didn’t eat those), and stuffed dates (of which I ate a lot!). Her recipe for chocolate chip oatmeal cookies with semi-sweet morsels was the best, an amazing blend of salt and sweet that was so delicious that I consumed a lot of cookie dough back in the day. (Hint: be careful with that – not so much due to salmonella as to the fact that raw cookie dough will expand inside a human stomach just like it does in the oven and can produce a bit of a tummy ache.)
Because my mom, in her later years, had many health and emotional health issues, she was unable to attend my high school graduation, and that broke my heart. She did, however, get to attend my first college graduation—although we nearly missed it due to a flat tire on the way to the university. Mom, I miss you and love you!!
With my mom’s health situation and a number of hospitalizations, I was fortunate to have a string of “second moms”: my aunts, my older cousins, the mom of my closest friend (the Brussels sprout), a foster mom found through our church, the mom of the five kids for whom I lived in and babysat, and a couple of mothers-in-law. These women were instrumental in my life at the times when my mom was unable to be, and I thank them wholeheartedly.
This was a very nice tribute. I knew some of this from stories you told me, but most of it was new to me and a delightful insight. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. Many memories….