When I was a child, my mom insisted I behave like a young lady, so certain words referring to bodily functions were no-nos. (For example, if one absolutely had to mention “expelling gas”, no four letter rhyming with “smart” could be used.) And heaven forbid the body of a young lady could ever actually perform said (or unsaid) function! I somehow learned to squelch burps and those other no-nos and spent some periods of my life teetering on the brink of explosion, yet always remaining a young lady. So I was appalled when, at age ten, I learned that boy people do not follow the same rules. Case in point –while in the car on the way to a swimming outing with a male friend and his mom, I heard a loud popping noise which was followed by an overwhelming odor. Young lady that I was, I was appalled that this boy person received only an admonishment (his mom snapping his name crossly).
And, apparently, males do not outgrow this.
I was so well indoctrinated that I don’t think I have ever, in 3/4 of a century, uttered the _art word. Ever.
Fast forward to, say, the 1980’s. I had remarried a wonderful gentleman I had met at the theatre. Good manners. Kind. Loving. And this lucky fellow had the dubious privilege of sleeping in the bedroom where Schultzie (the white boxer with the black ring around his eye) spent the night. Keeping Schultz in the bedroom with the door closed was the only way I could help the poor dog manage his affliction of colitis and IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome…or, more accurately, Indescribable Boxer Smells. If Schultzie had issues in the middle of the night, he would throw his body against the bed to jar me awake so I could race him to the door for an emergency outing. While I was quite familiar with this long-standing routine, my husband was not. Sooo….not long after my husband had moved in, suddenly in the wee hours of the morning, there was that popping noise and odor as Schultzie fired his warning shots. Before I could get up, my husband leapt from the bed, yelled “Take this!” and fired back!!! I was literally caught in the crossfire!!!
I could kinda forgive the dog….