Being old and decrepit has its drawbacks. One of those seems to be middle-of-the-night leg cramps. Since both my husband and I are inching up in years, we have been accumulating various and sundry items to offset aches, pains, and — yes — leg cramps. The collection includes two nightstands (his and hers) loaded with roll-on essential oils, neuropathy creams, aspirin, and chewable vitamin B-12. For leg cramps, there are three remedies that tend to be somewhat effective. Jumping out of bed and standing hard on the affected leg works — eventually. Ingesting a vitamin B12 is quite helpful. And the the fastest way to thwart a nasty cramp seems to be an acupressure technique in which you place your index finger in the dent above your upper lip, then take your thumb and middle finger to pinch the upper lip in toward the indexfinger/dent. It’s kinda like magic!!
But, when attached by our own bodies in the middle of the night, we don’t always think so clearly as we might in the daylight. So one night awhile back, when I stretched in my sleep and was thus suddenly awakened by a horrendous cramp ripping up my calf, I yelled to my husband “B12!” In a fog, he asked, “What?” and I responded yet again, “B12!” While I was thrashing about trying to straighten my leg enough to stand on that foot, he sat up and seemed confused. He then asked, “Where is it?” This is the man who keeps two bottles of B12 on his nightstand and bookshelf. So I directed him, “On the shelf.” He rummaged around and replied that he didn’t have it. Eventually I remembered to pinch my lip, and the cramp subsided. I turned on the light and looked over at the bookshelf where the bottle of B12 sat proudly, waiting to be called into action. “There!” I pointed. “How did you not see it?” He scratched his head and answered, “You asked me for a beach ball. I didn’t have a beach ball.” B12. Beach ball. Yeesh!!! And I’m the one who has a hearing problem!!!
On a later occasion, while riding with grandsons, one of them pointed out a groundhog eating acorns by the roadside. My bad ears heard “grandpa”, so they found this amusing. Since my husband has taken up a healthy breakfast diet of nuts and berries (okay, cereal and fruit), I gave the kids a photo of “grandpa eating acorns”, although not by the roadside.
And, at our house, the B12 is now known as “beach ball”….