Author: Thelmi

Many of us have heard the term “Mickey Mouse” used as a verb to describe often inexpensive, sometimes innovative ways to solve problems. Well, I Minnie Mouse. Not being particularly talented in dealing with “thing” situations (i.e. if it does not involved a pen, pencil, or words, I probably can’t do it), I have to resort to unusual measures to “”make do” when there is no one around to give things the proper attention. Cases in point: using a rubber band to fasten jeans that really need the waistband let out; using duct tape to replace a broken zipper on racing leathers; substituting tapioca for rice to take the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” (chapter in another story…); trying to glue things with gum or nail polish; burying a dog in an abandoned outhouse hole due to lack of shovel (don’t ask!); …you get the picture.

Soooo…envision winter time years ago, piles of snow, treacherous ice, a woman fearful of falling while trying to get to her vehicle which is parked on a slanted driveway  on the opposite side of the house from the door and requires a walk in the seldom-plowed road to access.  No available salt or ice melt.  Minnie Mouse to the rescue!

Hmmmm…traction needed.  Sand provides traction.  No sand available.  What might be a suitable sand substitute?  Hmmmm…kitty litter!!! Yes!!! Brilliant – and available!!!  So I forged a trail of the gritty stuff to and surrounding the car.  Problem solved.  I could trot happily to and from the vehicle without fear.  Until the next morning.  When I discovered just how many cats lived in the neighborhood.  Lots of cats.  Cats that would usually use the entirety of the great outdoors to relieve themselves.  Apparently they assumed that I had created their own personal outhouse, and they took full advantage.  Apparently they notified all their friends of the wondrous facility.  My innovative Minnie Mouse solution litter-ally went awry.

(Sigh…)  Such is the life of a monkey mom (yet another story).

My husband and I were “Rocky Horror Picture Show” virgins all those years ago…prompted at the last minute to go a midnight showing at a nearby movie house with the younger cast members of a play we were in together. We had little turnaround time between the ending of our on-stage performance and the start of the movie, so we were frantically getting instructions on things to bring (with no time for explanations as to why to bring these items): newspapers, rice to throw, toast, etc. So we rushed home and did our best to gather the necessities. No rice in the cupboard, but I found a small box of tapioca and figured it would have to make do. Hmmm….it seemed like throwing a heavy box could be painful to someone, so I emptied it into a ziplock bag, figuring a baggie would be softer. Of course, the cinema folks would not want the actual individual rice grains thrown as that would be a horrible mess to clean up. (Like I said, we had never done this before.)  So….off we went to the movie!  In line we found that the employees of the theatre had to search our belongings, so we proudly presented the items we had toted from home.  When they came upon the bag of uncooked tapioca, they examined it cautiously with puzzled expressions.  I explained it was tapioca because we didn’t have rice, and the inspector just gave me an odd glance and proceeded to consult with a second inspector who also gave me an odd glance, then confiscated my tapioca and took it to the manager’s office before allowing us to enter the building.  (Sigh….)  Embarrassing, to say the least.  The movie was fun, and we discovered that the staff do indeed sweep up the individual grains of rice!  Somehow, I managed to live that down.

Until….20-some years later, when sitting in a coffee shop with a friend, we were near a group of folks doing needlework together and overheard them talking about “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”.  Gregarious person that I am, I bit the bullet and tapped the one fellow on the shoulder to say I had seen the show once upon a time many years before.  He asked what theatre, and I told him, to which he replied that he had been the manager there a number of years ago.  I pointed out that our visit would have to have been before his time (as he seemed quite a bit younger to me) but that I had a funny story to tell him.  And I told him the tale of the confiscated tapioca.  When he was able to stop laughing, he stated that he indeed had been the manager that day and recalled the incident well.  He said he had always wondered who in the world could be that dumb….at which point I offered a handshake and introduced myself.

Ah, the good old days!  This recollection was prompted by a recent viewing of “The Rocky Horror Show”, an excellent and raucous stage “extra” production by the Ohio Shakespeare Festival.  We even stood and did the Time Warp; however, apparently I am dyslexic, disorganized, and laterally challenged in regard to both right and left as well as up and down.  (Hard to know whether to mirror the performers, or use the same hands they do while facing them.)  Oh, well……more embarrassing moments. But what a fun life!